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How many of you have ever walked through life with expectations—expectations of a new job, a new business, a marriage, a new home, or starting a family—only to find out that things didn’t turn out the way you thought they would?
How did that make you feel?
Now, what if it was something you believed God had led you to do? What if you were certain He gave you the assignment, but the road became difficult, full of obstacles, and nothing looked the way you imagined? That’s a much heavier place to be.
Recently, I picked up a book called I Give Up. I laughed with Charles and told him it should have been called "I Am Done". How many of you have been there—in a place in life where you’ve said those words out loud? If you’ve ever stood in that place—exhausted, confused, and saying those words—you know exactly what I mean.
The Expectations I Carried
I had expectations. I thought that if God called me, the way would be easy. I thought obedience would lead to open doors, favor, and quick results. Instead, it’s been one of the hardest roads I’ve ever walked. My prayers didn’t seem to get answered the way I wanted, and I started asking: How could I have missed it? How could I have been so wrong about what I thought I heard from God?
Then I read this story in the book. The author found out during her 37th week of pregnancy that her baby would be born with a cleft palate. She had expected everything to go smoothly, just like her other pregnancies. But her expectations were shattered. Sitting in shock, she asked her nurse practitioner, “Now what?” expecting a to-do list or medical plan. Instead, the NP simply said: “You grieve this.”
Grief isn't just for death
It made me realize something I had never considered: sometimes when our expectations aren’t met—when the story doesn’t go the way we thought it would—we need to grieve. We always associate grief with death, but unmet expectations bring grief, too.
Have you ever grieved a plan that didn’t unfold the way you thought it would? Have you grieved a prayer that wasn’t answered yet? Have you ever grieved a hope that hasn’t happened? Have you grieved a door that was shut when you thought it would swing wide open?
As Christians, we know the right answers. We know the verses. We remind ourselves that “God has a plan” and “Everything happens for a reason.” But if we’re honest, in seasons of unmet expectations, those words can be hard to hold onto. Sometimes we just want to say, “Lord, I can’t handle this anymore! I am done… or I give up.”
“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalms 16:6
That sounds beautiful on the good days, doesn’t it? But on the hard days, if we’re honest, we don’t want the boundary lines to stay put—we want them to move. We want relief. We want God to take the cup from us.
So what do we do in those moments?
...We bring it all back to surrender.
...We acknowledge the struggle.
...We lay down our expectations.
...We admit that our emotions don’t always tell the truth about God’s character.
...We fill our minds with His Word—read it, pray it, sing it, write it down.
...We remember His faithfulness yesterday so we can trust Him today.
...And then, step by step, we surrender it all to Him.
You may feel weary. You may feel finished. But God is not finished with you.
So, if you’re carrying unmet expectations, hopes that feel broken, or prayers that seem unanswered—take courage. The same God who stood with Joseph in the pit, with Daniel in the lions’ den, and with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire—He is standing with you today.
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